self portrait: the little death 9"x 12"


self portrait: the little death 24"x 24"

The Little Death

Although I don't have any images to account for this new idea, I can try to explain through words. The notion of translating my experience as a human onto the picture plane is where my work has been directed for the last year. Utilizing the self portrait is the most effective way to explain these events and the energies that arise during the painting process. I want to take the idea of unraveling that experience, but break it apart into specific moments, rather than summing up an event into one image. I video taped myself during a specific experience (the little death), black and white, then took stills from that tape and am making paintings from those images. I have never worked from photographs before, and it's a very strange unknown land. Keeping the immediacy of a "moment in time" is proving difficult to translate as an alive painting that is changing and not static.

I am also using a very specific limited palette in hopes to recreate the simplicity that a black and white image holds. Wish me luck!

self portrait: standing still 23"x 40"

Window

self portrait: window 16"x 20"


I have been trying to make my art more approachable and inviting. While in front of the canvas there are moods and feelings that arise that are consciously and subconsciously translated to the picture plane.
For some reason, most of these emotions have been dealing with doubt, anxiety, and frustration- both with the painting process and in my own life. These issues need to be addressed, no doubt, but I have been neglecting the pleasurable side of painting (and in my own life).
These last two paintings, August Weekend and Window, are more intimate, personal (less abrasive), and hopefully more approachable.

August Weekend

self portrait: august weekend 16"x 20"


This is my latest painting. I am trying to work more with the idea of a concrete experience, rather than just the experience of painting in front of the canvas. This is a specific experience from the past that I am trying to recreate, in addition to incorporating the energies that arise during the painting process.

California Blue

self portrait: california blue 16"x 20"


I have been obsessed with Eric Fischl's beach paintings, more specifically his simple chromecoats. His palette of intense vibrant darks for the skin and bright blues for the sky and water has inspired this latest painting.

Art Diet Pt. 2

self portrait: gasquet 19"x 23"


self portrait: stump house 22"x 28"


self portrait 3.75"x 5.25"


self portrait 3.75"x 5.25"


self portrait 3.75"x 5.25"

Art Diet

The much anticipated week long painting retreat in the woods finally happened. It started well enough- the weather was beautiful the first two days. I stared a big self portrait outside on the deck. Then the fog rolled in and didn't let up for the rest of the week. The idea of working outside, much less working on that painting was shot.
The excursion turned out to be quite a disaster actually. I was really trying to work hard, yet everything I was doing was horrible. Here is an excerpt from a journal entry:

"I am calling it quits. This isn't turning out how I hoped. The weather is crap. My mind is completely scattered. I feel like my energy is in 1000 different places. I feel anxious and frustrated, but not in a good productive way as a means of figuring painting issues out. I feel like I am not settled and my nerves have the better half of me. The weather is a big, well, the main reason why I am leaving early. When I am outside in the sun, my psychology changes and I work better. Regardless if I am working on a self-portrait or landscape, there is a rush that I get. It's been foggy and cold here and my mind mimics the weather. I feel slow and unmotivated. Maybe since while working in the sun there is an anxiety of getting information down on the canvas before the light changes. I work quicker because I don't know if it will ever be the same. Don't get me wrong, I love the North Coast Fog. I think it is one of the most romantic things is the world. Even now as I write this in the stump house loft- I am surrounded by huge Redwoods swimming in thick white fog. It's beauty is breathtaking. I just can't work in it!"

this pretty much sums up the experience

I was reading "Letters to a Young Artist" and Thomas Nozkowski's advice struck me hard, especially in my current situation.

"The current fact of artists' lives- the part that non-artists never seem to quite understand- is the loneliness of the studio. Before our runs are over we will have spent more time- thousands upon thousands of hours- alone, just staring at these things we make. This part of our experience must be factored in to every idea about artists' lives if you want to understand them. More artists stop working because of this loneliness than for any other reason."

But not is all lost. I am going to try this same damn thing next week in Gasquet where the weather is sure to be hot and sun soaked.

Figure Drawing Class

I have been attendending a weekly figure drawing group in Eureka at the Accident Gallery. The group is great, and everyone is super supportive of eachother. I miss being in class, and this seems like a way to still live in the dream land of art school. Here are some of the drawings and paintings that I have done.

the push, sunsoaked, winter

self portrait: the push 16"x 26"


self portrait: sunsoaked 24"x 28"


self portrait: winter 24.5"x 32"

100 self portraits

I finally finished this unexpected endeavor. I started in mid december and now have 100 drawings that I am happy with...well satisfied with.